Own Room

Heard the news that a new district hospital is about to tear down conversion. Here is my dormitory, in the past movement of people, leaving only the rigid deserted. District where the withered everywhere, decadence and unfamiliar. Some unexpected quiet here, a little old gray rendering of its raging emotions, uninterrupted reported split rumors, the difficulties it faced death. It is also so young, age is pink, but where his only destiny.
On the second floor, my bed room. Hall has a glass wall, facing the busy road and the factory dormitory, the wall is all the world. My simple room furnishings, a sofa, a long-shaped table, wardrobe, bed, dresser, nothing more. Confusion disturbed the whole space, books are everywhere, outdated magazines, newspapers, filled with words of the manuscript, notebook, canned protein powder and vitamin pills. These things I survival. They are flowing, from the bedroom to the room, from the sofa to the dresser. I am in this room bright alive, safely made the district’s lover. I regularly purchase to the supermarket, buy a lot of meat and vegetables, biscuits, drinks, snacks, and then, all day and night to stay in the house, doors and windows are closed, even the curtains were pulled, the air from the small cracks come, nourish my breath. There is no rhythm in my life, jumping, still, gentle and docile, or dried hysterical, self-played different roles. I imagine he is all-powerful queen, under one person, people above; will be dressed as dancers, accompanied by music and dance a whole morning; sometimes housewife, busy busy field a clean slate on the calendar note memo … …
Mother often called to, again and again “early hours, early marriage and motherhood” and told her all the time do not worry about their daughter alone on such a day old down. I say what is wrong? No two bored, smoke tea m trivial, children, diapers, all kinds of secular education …. But, there are several people can all share them? We can not stop love, one day the temptation, could not resist the loneliness of life, happily and ran to the marriage.
I work every evening to open the door the first thing is to take off his clothes, as well as removing the camouflage day, or did not complete the material, the idea is still in manuscript, very friendly colleagues emotions. All step down, leaving only themselves and face their own body, soul, the will and ideals. Typically, the room naked I walked, belly dance in the hall, in order to practice the lines of the body. I have the mirror to see their own bodies, small breasts, as if the child is not mature, quietly asleep, waiting to be awakened one day. I stroked his white bright, young skin, it exudes my body odor, mixed with the smell of perfume and shower gel, fresh, cloudy, warm, ambiguous, in the park with my smell of those migrant workers who have body odor So some of the differences. I had a strong smell of migrant workers who smoke, odor and body odor mixed with the taste, quite pungent. I know that people’s lives, often peering through the windows of their houses, as they look at me, like in the distance. I watched a group of people who work every day to work on time, dressed in purple-blue work clothes, soiled fingers crevices black or white powder. Snacks in front of their factory Tanqian buy snacks, a man pulled a woman’s hand go for a walk in the dead of night under a tree kissing, arguing, whispering, making love behind the curtains, unaware of the loneliness. I am in a room, surrounded by such people.
I began to try to love. To spend a lot of time chatting on the man chatting with a distant, ambiguous, Jiao Chen, wordy, angry, and repeatedly. But I did not love, find out from beginning to end. Losing his temper with her boyfriend every time I log on in the diary, this is the first few times? People alone, when you want companionship, but often the same as medical treatment, medication, there must be some side effects.
One day I was cleaning the room closet, accidentally discovered a pile of old things, about the former residential customers in this room to stay, there are sanitary napkins, men’s razors and condoms, these things covered with dust, I put them in a sealed bag, put back to. I imagine others have in this room, like me life, suffering, pain, loneliness, washed in hot coffee or evening stroll Tieguanyin, night of insomnia, black and white reversed living, thinking, talking about love, big laugh, cry, silence, and even quarrels, their shadows everywhere, as if the young do not loose the soul wandering in here, day after day and out. Inviting steps to leave, is still blowing the same loneliness. I carefully scrutinize them, looked like in my own. Those with no messy clean up the dishes, clothes, books, shopping bags and written emotional face, it is these things that make the whole house show a kind of vitality, it is not Jinian after year of waste is parked vehicle, it breathing and pulse, heart beating law, truly bitter feeling, pain, loneliness and boring, hard to resist with.
One day we go out to the room. Dressed, clean surface oil, playing foundation, blush brush, lipstick, painted eyebrows, smile, right, not long after the trail, to the door, into the traffic and pedestrian flow in the direction of rolling land in his own and ran, face to the world. And this room behind crashing down, crashing down for some time. That is no concern of the lonely youth, it was crazy growth, from lush to depression, short-lived, but it’s brilliant plan bright sky.

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